Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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