I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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