i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
