Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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