i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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