the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
