he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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