If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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