Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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