there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
