You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
