They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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