OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
