dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wear drunk well.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize