no you cant smoke seaweed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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