Don't you send me to vm
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
