All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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