the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
