Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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