mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
