It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize