i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
