babies were throwing up all over the place
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
