the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
