At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
