My nipple is on Facebook.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize