I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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