I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
