I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
