They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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