Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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