am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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