I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
