and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
