Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
