You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
