if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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