I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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