At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
