i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize