i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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