Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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