so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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