the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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