hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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