do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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