can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
