I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
