Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
