Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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