dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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