I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
