I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
