New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
