The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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