the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We don't watch enough power rangers
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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