He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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