Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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