i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize