I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
