I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
