She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
