I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
