just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
